This Feeling That I've Just Realize

"When two best friend talk, people tend to think that they talk in code."
That's what my friend Mikka told me.

My brother, Sylph, has just arrived from Jakarta. I can't say that I didn't miss him when he was away in his small trip. Anyway, I'm pretty glad that he's back now.

While we were having dinner, my ma called. Since I didn't have the chance to meet her personally in Jakarta, I talk to her cheerfully. Everything is okay, UNTIL he talked to her. And that time, I realized that I could understand nothing about what they were talking about.

And now that I realized that, it only make me feel even more lonelier than when he was away. Knowing that he could talk to her like two best friend in their own world really hurt me. Because I do realize that the world they're in at that time is the place where I could never ever get in.


Pathetic huh? Getting jealous to your own brother just because he's closer to your parents. But hey, that's the truth. It's sucks. Unable to understand them, to talk to them like the way he talked to them is really hurting me.

Sometimes I wish that... that he never exist. But if it's really do happen, I can't imagine how my parents gonna be. After all, he's always their favorite.

One Day is All I Need

Okay, let me make a confession. I skip the school today.

I told my brother that I didn't feel really good. Well, I am not lying. I do have a little headache, a bit cough, and lots of snot. Like I've said before, I wouldn't lie to my brother. And I did not. I just blow it up a bit.

What surprised me, he kinda call our parents. I was surprised cuz usually he won't bother the,. He'll just do me a favor and text my teacher for me. So, it turns out that, MAYBE he's a bit concerned and decided to make a call.

So, yeah. My ma called and ask me. In the calm yet concerned tone. Since I already have a cough, I didn't really have to fake anything. Not long after my ma called, it's my dad's turn. And believe it or not, he sound a lot more concerned (and a bit panicked) than my ma. Maybe that's because he's not sure what he gotta do when his children are sick and he's not there? I am not sure. But I do realize that he sound like that cuz he loves us. It doesn't mean that our ma doesn't love us. She just knew that we could handle it, so she didn't make too many fuss.


Weird parents huh?

Anyway, I kinda glad that I miss school today. Cuz I realized that, there are lots pf people that cared about me. Including my brother, whether he want to admit it or not! ;3

Who Is Older? Me or My Big Brother?

This afternoon, my brother told me something that I can't even imagine.
He told me that he's sick of his collage.
He also told me that he want to study abroad and learn how to make a MMOG (Massive Multi-Player On-Line Game)

He asked me about my opinion.
He was wondering whether he can get a permission from our parents.
Permision is not a big deal. I bet my parents would let him.
But the problem is, I think my parents don't have the money yet.
And just to make it worse, I don't think my parents would let him to focus on making his dream MMOG.

In one side, I really want him to follow his dream.
Why? Because I always think that we should be who we want to be, not who we have to be.
But in the other hand, it feels like he letting me down.
I just don't know what to do!

Seems like I got stuck in between.
Again.

How could it be possible? Don't ask me!

Well... Seems like I finally settled my problem with my brother and his ex.
Everything is back to normal now.

I don't know how its happened.
One thing for sure, I can't stay mad at him!
After all, he is my only brother!