Second Day (Part Two)

Okay... my brother and I finally came at peace and we watch movies to make it up. Everything went pretty well UNTIL I get back to my aunt place. My cousin ask me if I want a tiramisu (which now I wish I never take) because he want to take the container. I say yes and start eating it. I told him that I'm gonna eat that up for him but he has to be the one who wash the container because I'm not the one who one it. He said YES for that one.

And when I finally finished eating that cursed tiramisu, I gave him the container and start working with my shoes. It seems like he gave it to her ma than she left it unwashed in the sink. He started to pissed and yell at her ma. And her ma blame him. Then he blame me for not washing the container because I'm the one who eat the tiramisu. I was pissed because he blame me for that. Hey, I won't be mad if it's really my fault, but he said that he's the one who gonna wash it!

And when I started to get pissed, his ma came to the room that I use (the only safe place in this hell hole she called home), and start saying that I didn't love her son and her son become a brat because of me! WHAT THE HELL?! I was really surprised that time.

Well... he's a spoiled brat from the beginning, AND THAT'S HIS PARENTS FAULT! It's so not fair that I always have to be the one who get blame. I might be 16 now and it means that I have to be mature. LIKE HELL I WOULD CARE! I am mature in my own way.

This is so not fair. When I act maturely, people start saying that my parents have taken my childhood. But when I act childishly, people start yelling at me telling me to grow up. What are they really want?

Around them, I could never be who I really am. With my family around, being me is almost impossible. I could only be me in front of my friends in comic rent and some others in other cities.

They might not realize what they've done to me, because they didn't really care about me. They might not realize so much pain that they caused, because they are no where near me. They might think that I'm strong, because I always have the smile and the laughter.

But the truth? I'm bleeding inside. Doesn't matter how much tears I've shed, the pain won't go away. The pain that they caused are so great that it doesn't matter how loud I scream, the pain would still hurt me real bad. I've run as fast as I could, but the pain still there.

It's just hurt for not being able to be who we really are. But it'll hurt even more when you realize that you don't even know who you are. It's just hurt...

A While To Think, A Time To Rest

It's been a pretty long time since I wrote the last post. I never. meant to do that. The reason why I didn't wrote any more is because I need time to think about some stuffs. It might not important, but I really want to think about it. Those stuffs has been stuck in my mind for months, some of them even stuck for years.

It kinda hurts when I realized that I was tangled by all those unimportant stuffs. Those stuffs is...I don't know...making it hard for me to breath? I don't know. A good friend of mine told me that I should just go nor forget it. I tried and I made it...for a few minutes. I just don't know what the heck is happening to me. Everything seems so blur. I no longer have the passion to read and eat (even though I ate 4 slice of pizza and a little bit of lasagna and spaghetti last night, they didn't taste as good as how they used to be. The things that they, those problem, haven't take from me are my passion to write and my faking face.

Realizing how much those stuffs have burdening me, I decided to go out and try some new stuffs. It's not easy. At least not as easy as those stupid books say. But I think I'm doing it pretty well. I know that I still need lots of time to finish all of them, at least I manage to finish some of them by know. I just hope that everything would go as smoothly as I hope.




Best Regards,





_NZmrc_

It's Been Ages!

I MISS MY BLOG!!!
I moved to my aunt house, to Mr. Stripper house, and I lose all the Internet connection!
The only way I still can survive is because my cell phone, who run out of credit by now.
My school life is kinda.... weird? But I can't believe that I didn't hate it at all.
In fact, I kinda love it. It's weird for a kid like me to love their school. Well...maybe it's not just because of the school. I've met some people who can understand me if I'm talking about game or something like that. Thank God I found them.

And in this school, I can speak out my mind better than the old school. The teacher is much nicer, if I might say? That's another weird things that happening in here.

FYI, yes, I still don't like that Stripper, but I got no choice except to bear with the pain. I won't like it, but what choice do I have?

Anyway, I was currently sitting inside my uncle office, trying to be on line as long as possible while waiting for my digivice accelerator. Remind me to thank Garland, for giving me the idea for having a digivice. That's all for now I guess.

Thanks for reading.


P.S: Luna, please contact me if you can as soon as possible.