Hiya... I just got back from a school program called CSW (Community Study Work) two days ago. I have a lot of fun in there. I do. And in that place, I was given some times to think about stuffs, mostly about my live.
At that time, we're staying at the villager house. I got no problem with that, but I'm really glad when I know that they're so welcoming. To be honest, it has been around six months that I lost the sense of being home. I mean, now that I currently staying at my aunt place, I realize that I never become a part of her family.
I'm not sure... but there's some sort of barrier between me and the other. A barrier that I haven't been able to walk through. People said that I'm a cheerful person. Someone who seems like she doesn't have any problem to think about. They might be right. But that's not the truth. That's not me. That's just the surface... the skin... the mask...
I know that I'm the one who make that impression, but I kinda hope that they could see the person who's hiding behind those fake smiles. It hurts to keep smiling. But if I don't, I could not see their smile.
I often think that it is okay for me to get hurt, as long as they didn't have to feel it. Then a good friend of mine came and told me that I was way too kind. When I heard that, all I could do is giving her a sad smile and telling her that I have no choice. At that time, she shook her head and called me a moron. I am not surprised when I heard that.I might be a foolish for making such a decision, but for me, it's ok to be hurt as long as those who I care about keep smiling.
Okay, back to the CSW thingy. At that time, the owner of the house that I stayed in, said that I'm a cheerful girl. I almost burst in to tear and tell her who am I really are. But I can't, can I? I mean, telling her the truth would only break her heart and I only have one more day left in there.
After I go back from Pangalengan, I go back to my boring live. Leaving my family in there, facing the strangers in back here.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
The Game is On!
Okay, I'm terribly sorry for not writing for such a long time. But before you decided to kill me or anything, I'll have to tell you about my reason. Okay, here's the story:
Two weeks ago, I was really stressed with the wall magazine competition (which we won, by the way) and the story that I'm working on. Well, since I have to finish the story before reaching the deadline, I was working on the story like a madman. And because of that, I kinda have to cut my connection with the world for a while. When the deadline is already in front of my eyes, I made one of the craziest decision in my live, I end the first part with a freakin' cliff hanger that everyone love and hate in the same time.
After a few days living with anxiety, the time to give a "brief" presentation about my story has finally come. Most of my friends who have done the presentation only have to spend around 20 minutes for the presentation and Q&A session with my teacher. But when it's time for my turn, I have to talk at least 20 to 25 minutes about the story and another 10-15 minutes for the Q&A session. And just to make it worse, in the middle of my presentation, the head master of my school came to that room. Then my tummy start rumbling. Not because of the presentation nor the head master, it's more because of my sensitive tummy. Anyway, after tortured around 45 minutes by my teacher, I ask my teacher about my score. And she told me that I could get a perfect score IF I gave her the second part of my story by the end of May.
Well...that's what happen. To be honest, I kinda doubt my self whether I could finished the story on time or not. Because I kinda run out of idea, and Usagi-nii is way too busy with his exam, and Eiko is WAYYYYYYY too far.
OH GAWD!!! SOMEBODY PLEASE SAVE ME!!!!!!!!!!
Two weeks ago, I was really stressed with the wall magazine competition (which we won, by the way) and the story that I'm working on. Well, since I have to finish the story before reaching the deadline, I was working on the story like a madman. And because of that, I kinda have to cut my connection with the world for a while. When the deadline is already in front of my eyes, I made one of the craziest decision in my live, I end the first part with a freakin' cliff hanger that everyone love and hate in the same time.
After a few days living with anxiety, the time to give a "brief" presentation about my story has finally come. Most of my friends who have done the presentation only have to spend around 20 minutes for the presentation and Q&A session with my teacher. But when it's time for my turn, I have to talk at least 20 to 25 minutes about the story and another 10-15 minutes for the Q&A session. And just to make it worse, in the middle of my presentation, the head master of my school came to that room. Then my tummy start rumbling. Not because of the presentation nor the head master, it's more because of my sensitive tummy. Anyway, after tortured around 45 minutes by my teacher, I ask my teacher about my score. And she told me that I could get a perfect score IF I gave her the second part of my story by the end of May.
Well...that's what happen. To be honest, I kinda doubt my self whether I could finished the story on time or not. Because I kinda run out of idea, and Usagi-nii is way too busy with his exam, and Eiko is WAYYYYYYY too far.
OH GAWD!!! SOMEBODY PLEASE SAVE ME!!!!!!!!!!
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