Almost

Hiya... it's been a hile since my last post. I know. Blame me for that if you want, but I can't help it! Anyway, I'm currently "hijacking" my friend's PC in order to make this post. I just hope that she won't kill me for this.

Well... my school start on January 5th, so I still have some time to enjoy it. I was hoping that I can spend the new year eve in here and heading back to Jakarta on January 1st. But it turns out that the plane ticktet is pretty expensive in that day. So we take the ticket for December 31st. I was hoping that it was a midnight flight so I can spend the change of year up in the sky. Unfortunately, the flight is on 2pm. Just to be honest, I kinda regret that. But there's nothing I can do, right?

Anyway... I told a dearest friend of mine that I want feel the change of year up in the sky. I know that it sounds childish and I know that she'll laugh at me. But I won't mind because even she laugh at me, I know that she didn't mean it in the bad way.

Hmm... here I am now, making a plan about what to do in the new year eve and my plan for next year.

Why Bother?

Many people think that God is exist. They believe that God is perfect and there's no such a thing called mistake that He could make. Let's just say that He's a well-planned guy.

I have to admit that I'm not really sure whether God is exist or not. I mean, everything would make sense if he didn't exist. It would makes sense why I'm stuck in this world. If God is not exist, then I'm really sure that I was born because a mistake or a coincidence. You choose.
But if God really exist, why do He even bother creating me? To watch me suffer? Well...if it's what He want, then He must be happy seeing me suffer by now.

The other thing I hate about what people think about God is God got everybody in his hands. Geez...I doubt that! If he really got everybody in his hand, why there are still so many poverty and lots of other things like that? Because He got His own plan? I DO NOT BELIEVE THAT. If He really do have a plan, why there are still lots of sadness in this world? Or maybe He actually has a plan, but that plan is not a good one. Not a very smart one.

The other thing that has been stuck in my mind for almost a decade is, if he really THAT great, why did He made heaven and hell? Because He wants an end of us? f that what He wants than why makes 2? Can't He just choose and make one of them? I mean, if He just made one end of us, I really want to have my end right away, because I'm starting to hate my live even worse than before.

Many people told me that it is not a good thing to toy someone or something that has a feeling. But what about God? He's currently toying us, remember? Is it just me or it is REALLY unfair? Since the first time I touch the keyboard to write this post, I've been wondering, why did God create us? Is it because He's bored? Because He want something new? Or because He's lonely?

I don't know which one is the true answer, but why do I have to bother it? Since I already here, it seems like I have to join His game until He put me to an end.





To God, who might wanna know what his creation think.

NUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!

NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY BROTHER IS HERE!!!!!!!
NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY FAMILY IS HERE!!!!!!!!
NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M BROKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STRIPPER IS NOT HERE!!!!!

A While To Think, A Time To Rest

It's been a pretty long time since I wrote the last post. I never. meant to do that. The reason why I didn't wrote any more is because I need time to think about some stuffs. It might not important, but I really want to think about it. Those stuffs has been stuck in my mind for months, some of them even stuck for years.

It kinda hurts when I realized that I was tangled by all those unimportant stuffs. Those stuffs is...I don't know...making it hard for me to breath? I don't know. A good friend of mine told me that I should just go nor forget it. I tried and I made it...for a few minutes. I just don't know what the heck is happening to me. Everything seems so blur. I no longer have the passion to read and eat (even though I ate 4 slice of pizza and a little bit of lasagna and spaghetti last night, they didn't taste as good as how they used to be. The things that they, those problem, haven't take from me are my passion to write and my faking face.

Realizing how much those stuffs have burdening me, I decided to go out and try some new stuffs. It's not easy. At least not as easy as those stupid books say. But I think I'm doing it pretty well. I know that I still need lots of time to finish all of them, at least I manage to finish some of them by know. I just hope that everything would go as smoothly as I hope.




Best Regards,





_NZmrc_

....I....

Last night, I accidentally bump to my long lost friend. Well... I didn't really bump at her. I just met her in the chat room. At that time, she said something that really shocked me. When I told her that I envy her cuz she doesn't have to change. She asked me why. I told her that I have no choice except changing my self cuz I don't wanna hurt anyone else. I told her that I could no longer show a sincere smile and laugh like the ones in the past.

Then she asked me, "who are you?". To tell you the truth, it feels like a slap on my face. It hurts. I asked her how could she said something like that to me. She told me that I'm not like who I am in the past. The warm, cheerful girl that I used to be has gone missing. It's hurt when she said told me that. But is it true?

Do I really changed? People told us that we have to grow up. But do we really have to change to grow up? That question has been spinning in my heads for years. Is there anyone who an help me answer that? I wonder.....

Waiting for a Jet Plane....again....

Okay, now I'm sitting in the airport (no, I'm not in the waiting room yet), Makassar. My flight is around 11.00 WITA, if there's nothing happen. No offense, but they often delay our flight without a clear reason. I mean, I won't mind if they delay, or cancel, our flight because there's some sort of storm, but guess what? They often delay our flight because their waiting for the spare parts for the plane!

Geez! I just don't get it! Why don't they have some stocks for their OWN spare parts? For me, doesn't have any spare parts is just the same with traveling without bringing some undies! Or...or...TRAVELING WITHOUT MONEY!

Anyway, doesn't have extra spare parts for something like a plane prove that we're too cheap. Even for our live. Hey, I didn't blaber about it without knowing nothing!

I'm gonna give you an example. There's a plane that crash in the air on 2004, remember? I don't wanna tell you from wghich company, but if you really want to know, you might want to search it in the internet. Anyway, a few years later, in 2009 if I'm not mistaken, I saw a documentary program in National Geographic called AIR CRASH INVESTIGATION, at that time, they were talking about OUR plane who crash down without any good explaination. They start to investigate. Let me make this quick, that company (who own the plane that crashed), didn't change the spare part that's not working properly. When the maintenance realize that that part is not working perfectly, they just take it off, clean it a bit and put it back. When I saw it, I'm so amazed. I'm surprised that the plane could still fly, that none of the authority know about what the maintenances have done, and that the pilot are so brave that they willingly (or forced because they need money?) to fly that plane!



Anyway, I would always envy their bravery. Not. only them, but everyone around me......okay, MOST of everyone.

She's the One

TEE-HEE!!! I finnally be able to play with my sis! Well.... shes's not really my sis, but her mother is my nanny that have been taking care of me since I was a baby.

The only problem that I got while with her is.... she seems like she's already forget me. Well... can't blame her right? I mean I left when she was like two months old!

i feel kinda sad when I realize that she already forget me. That doesn't seems fair to me. But I still got her, remember? Fair or not, I didn't really know cause I also left her.

Anyway, I feel kinda sleepy right now, so I think thst's all I'm gonna write for now, and yes. I am a sleepyhead.

Waiting For a Jet Plane

Just like what I said in the last post, I'm heading back to my home. I feels kinda nervous about that. My father is the reason why I'm so nervous. It's not like I hate him or what. It's just... we often argue about my live. Sometimes I wanna yell at him and tell him that this's my live, not his. But I just can't do that.

Anyway, now I'm currently sitting on a cold bench (?) in the waiting room. And when I say cold, I REALLY MEAN IT!
I just don't get it! Why do they have to make 'em from a steel! Can't they just make 'em from woods? And just to make it worse, the weather is kinda cold tonight. And thanks to my Levi's (that kinda tight), the bench feel even worse!

God! I hope the plane would be here soon!

Midnight Show

It's already pass the midnight. But I still can't sleep. I got so many things in my mind.
My head hurts cuz I haven't got enough sleep lately. But I can't really have a good night sleep lately. I've been thinking about some stuffs that Garland said, the script that I should have wrote by now, and... about me coming back to Makassar.

I know that I'm supposed to be happy cuz I'm gonna meet my family, but... it's just... it'll never get easier for me to meet and join the crowd. I know that I cheer a lot, but that's only the surface. The truth is, I don't even know why I'm doing it.

I admit that I didn't really want to admit that. But hey! My blog have almost no reader at all, remember? I can't believe that I'm actually glad that no one would read this blog.

(Hey, hold on a sec! I'm supposed to feel desperate cuz no one reading this! I 'm not supposed to e glad! AARRRGGGHHH!!!! Whet kind of writer are you Naz?! You're idiot!!)

Anyway now I'm sitting in front of the computer wondering what to read. It sucks for a writer wannabe like me to run out of idea. God... I'm so pathetic! Life is not moving as well as I predict, but over all, it's pretty good, I guess?

My life is currently getting pretty tough. Tougher than before, at least. With no one to talk to, no books to be read and no internet connection, it's absolutely going tougher.

I can handle the lesson just fine, but I sometimes I just can't stand the pressure that I faced. It's not easy. And I bet it won't be easier since I'm gonna join the INAYS (Indonesian Young Scientist). I bet I'm gonna get a whole bunch of job. I wonder if I can finish them on time. And just to make it worse, I'm still have to work on a script for the assembly.

That doesn't sounds good to me. NOT AT ALL. I wonder if I can survive this challenge. I have no doubt that I'm gonna take the challenge, but I'm having doubt in finishing the homework and the other stuff.

And I also still wondering why they pick me, not the other student. They told me that I got the quality, but they didn't told me what is my quality. Believe it or not, I didn't even trust my self. I doubt my self. I doubt the quality that I got. I even doubt their decision!

I might not be able to find all the answer that I've been looking for all this time. But having more question to be answered is also not a really good thing for me now.
My heart aches for finding the answers of all the question that I have, but it seems like I won't find the answer soon.

It's Been Ages!

I MISS MY BLOG!!!
I moved to my aunt house, to Mr. Stripper house, and I lose all the Internet connection!
The only way I still can survive is because my cell phone, who run out of credit by now.
My school life is kinda.... weird? But I can't believe that I didn't hate it at all.
In fact, I kinda love it. It's weird for a kid like me to love their school. Well...maybe it's not just because of the school. I've met some people who can understand me if I'm talking about game or something like that. Thank God I found them.

And in this school, I can speak out my mind better than the old school. The teacher is much nicer, if I might say? That's another weird things that happening in here.

FYI, yes, I still don't like that Stripper, but I got no choice except to bear with the pain. I won't like it, but what choice do I have?

Anyway, I was currently sitting inside my uncle office, trying to be on line as long as possible while waiting for my digivice accelerator. Remind me to thank Garland, for giving me the idea for having a digivice. That's all for now I guess.

Thanks for reading.


P.S: Luna, please contact me if you can as soon as possible.

I Hope He Would Shut His Fuckin' Trap

I hate my cousin.
My stupid, damn, annoying, crybaby, spoiled cousin.

Believe it or not, I always thinking about the duck tape when I'm with him.
He's the one that turn my life in to a perfect disaster.
Call me anything if you want, but I HATE HIM!!!

No offense, but he's a real live chatter box!
I won't mind if he's an ordinary chatterbox, but he's not!!
He's already 8 years old and he can's even take a bath all by him self!
Believe it or not, he often strips his clothes in front of the TV!
If he's hot, I won't mind!
But guess what? I bet you're gonna throw up when you saw him doing that!
He's a kid that often raise his voice when he's talking to his parents.

I hate him. He's an useless cousin. All I hope that he would shut his mouth!







P.S: IT'S BASED ON THE TRUE STORY!!!

Move On

It's been a week since I move to Bandung.
It hurt and it's not easy.
But I realize that nothing will change unless I chang it my slef.

I decided to move on.
I'm gonna go with all I've got to start the new page move my live.

I realize that moving on without knowing where to move is kinda crazy.
But that's how I do it.
I mean, knowing where to move might be a smart thing.
Moving without knowing, in the other hand, is a good thing than didn't move at all.

So here I am, staring at the computer, trying to write something for my new project.
I hope everything go as the plan and I can finish the project in no tim and send it to my teacher back in Makassar.
I can't tell you how glad I am to have a fan.
My brother, can't say whether he's a fan or not, laugh when he read my very first project.
When I asked him what's wrong, he told me that the way I write it is something.

Weeks before he read that, we finally make a peace after all the childish fight we made all these time.
After we're having 'the peace declaration', my brother become the closest family member to me.
I often think that... I'll be okay without my parents as long as I have my brother by my side.
It might be true, but I also need peoples to support me.
I need more people like my brother, Asch, Sora, Viki, and Eiko.

I realize that now we're shattered around.
Me and my brother in Bandung.
Asch and Viki in Makassar.
And Eiko who's going to Japan.

I really want to finish that project A.S.A.P
Because I want them to know what I really feel all thistime.
I want them to know what's actually happened deep down in my heart.

It hurt me when I remembered that we're shattered around.
But I'm glad we're shattered.
Why?
Because when we meet again, we'll have a lot of things to talk to.


P.S: I'm thinking about joining the geotourism. My guardian already say yes. They encourage me actaully. I hope my parent would also say yes....

It Sucks!!!!!!!!!

Well.... I love my new school....
The room that I rent is also pretty good.

Everything is ok.
But... there still something wrong down there.
Deep in my heart.
That feeling is creeping me out.
I'm feeling kinda lonely.
I can handle it if I was in school since the kids and the teacher were nice to me.

But every time I get back to the room that I rent, that feeling is coming back.
I know that I'm the one who choose to live alone.
But still....

Yesterday, I decided to stay in my aunt place.
Call me cry baby if you want, but it still hurt in the inside.
Asch is the one who make me realize the pain.
It might sounds bad to you, but I'm grateful for that.
She's the only one who can truly understand me.
So I thank her for that.

Anyway, I just realize that my brother haven't visit me until now.
I can't blame him, can I?
I know it sounds selfish, but I want to meet him.
He might not understand me like Asch did, but he's the only family member that I can talk to if I have any problem.

Sometimes I wonder whether I make the right decision to move to Bandung.
At first, I actually want to run away.
But then, I realize that running away is not what I want.
What I really want is...
What I actually need is...
Time...

I need sometime to think about this and that.
To think about who I am.
I need to think more for my sake. I need to think more about everything that I've done.
I need to think about freedom and the other stuff.
I need to find my place.

Btw, you might still remember about the post about the text message.
The last message that I send to Asch, I regret it.
I know find the answer.

I'm a kid that was chained, deep down under the lies that I said.
I'm a kid that want to break free.
A kid that looking for the place where she belong

I'm Absolutely LOST!!!!

As you can see... I'm moving to Bandung.... Met a hottie who turns out to be the boy friend of the owner daughter. It surely broke my heart! TTATT


Anyway... here I am..... sitting in the computer rent.... Working on my first ass... About GAME!!!!! YAAAYYY!!! XD

So let me tell you a little about my 'new life'.
I've already get to know most of my friends in my class. I also met a gamer who play the same game with me. I knew some girl that read the same manga as me. I have a really good teacher as our home room teacher. Those are the good part.

But I realize that staying alone is not a really good thing. I mean, when school is over, I walked back the my room that I rent, then stare at the ceiling....

IT'S SO GOD DAMN BORING!!!

And just to make it worse, I have NO idea how to go to another place from my place!

I think that's all that I can write for now. I hope your live is better than mine...





P.S : Wish me luck, ok?

Leaving With A Plan

I'm leaving to Bandung in no time. I hope everything go as the plan.
The first thing that I have to do is unpack my bag. When I'm finish with that, I think I'll as for some stuff like, "Where is the nearest bookstore?" or "How can I go to school every morning?"

Anyway, I don't think I can write as much as I do after I'm moving to Bandung. Unless I can have a 24 hours nonstop internet service or I have a modem AND my laptop is here.

SNAP OUT OF IT!!!!!!!

I don't think I'll ever feel such a thing called 'peace' anymore. No offense, but that's the truth.

As you can see, I'm currently staying at my cousin's place. Today when I walked to Bang Ibam's room(Dina's older brother), I saw Dina playing Wii. You know what? I really want it. But that's not the point.

Anyway, not long after I came to that room, her brother, Bari, start kicking her for no reason. At least I don't know the reason that time. When the fight was going to start, Bang Ibam wake up from his slumber hand lock Bari Between his arm.

The fight start. Bari kick me a couple time while I was trying to protect Dina. My grandma came. Accusing that it's all Bang Ibam fault. So I told her what actually happened. Bari told her that the reason he did that is because Dina always put him under pressure. I just get silence when my grandma said that Bari is a sensitive kid that always keep everything inside. Hearing that, I want to yell at her and said that he's not the only one. But in my case, everyone are put me under the pressures.

I don't know whether this one suit it or not:

With a tear in my your eye
With a blood in my face
With the promise in our heart

With the pain that you feel
With the emptiness in my heart
With everything that we've done

With a cry that always be heard
With a cheer that never been heard
With a lies that we said

We cry and we look
We beg and we try
We finally realize everything that we lost

I'm feeling lost...

Did I ever told you about my problem? The one about my family?
Well... I've told you that I often feel like I'm alone in the crowd?

Actually, it's happen again last night.
That time I was in Bandung with my Ma, My Aunt, My Grand Ma, Dina (My cousin), Bari (Dina's little brother), Mas Isak (Their driver), and My Brother.

Anyway, Me, My Ma and Mas Isak were driving to the place where I rented a room to take some of my belonging. That's go pretty smooth if you didn't mention that we go to the wrong turn. After that we met up at a family restaurant.

I don't know what's gotten in to me, but that day I feel so gloomy. At that time, all I want is to meet my brother. I don't know how, but he always have something under his sleeves to make cheer me up.

But when we enter the family restaurant, I saw Dina sitting next to him. I know it sounds stupid and childish, but it seems like my world falling apart. I wanna yell and told her that he's my brother and she has no right to sit next to him.

I can't can I? When my tears were getting ready to come out, I said to my Grand Ma that I wanna go back to the car to have some sleep. I don't know whether she believe me or not, at leas she said yes. So I tell Mas Isak to open the car lock so I could sleep (or pretend to be sleep in this case). I cried in the car. I cried and I cried, again and again. I want to let go of all this pain, but I can't.

When I decided to text Asch so I could at least have someone to talk to, I realize that my phone is run out of credit. And it seems like I'm alone. Since there's nothing I can do, I take my binder from my bag and trying to write something. But before I can finish it, all of them were back from the restaurant. I wipe my tear and pretend that I just wake up. My brother shake everyone hands goodbye, since we're leaving to Jakarta again.

In the way bag to Jakarta, we stop in the hotel to take some of our belongings. Since I'm already done with my belongings, I sit next to Mas Isak and have a little chit chat about Dina and how she turns in to someone with a super awful mouth.


Anyway, in our way back to Jakarta, I wrote this while the other were asleep:

Again and again
That feeling comes to me

Hiding deep in my heart
In a secret place that no one know

Lying down and waiting
Waiting for the right time to end everything

Everything that exist and not
Everything including my self

I want to cry
But no tears were left

I want to scream
But I lost my voice

The feeling that comes and hurts me
The feeling that cause the pains
The feeling that I don't want to feel
The feeling that I hope I never know

I don't know

I knew that I'm the one who decided to study in a different city, but now.... I'm doubting my decision.

I know it sounds that I'm an idiot, but still....

Anyway.... we HAVE TO look everything in both side right??
So, my Ma and I we're looking for a room that was rent (kost).
We find one. It's a really nice place. I got a room that was bright and has a pretty big window.

And the lady who own that place, (she lived down stair while the rooms up stair were rented) looks like a really ice lady. I mean, she let me to have meals with them since I'm still in senior high (technically, I'm the youngest one in there).

And you know the best part??? She have a son who's really HOT!!! >///<
I mean, it's not like he have a really good body or what, I mean he's.... I CAN'T EXPLAIN IT!!!!!

You should see him by your own!

Count Down : 6 Hours 26 Minutes

I finally get the ticket and somehow manage to put all my clothes in 1 trunk, and 2 backpacks.

I did bring most of my stuff, but I'm still wondering about my friend. She go to a boarding school and she actually bring 3 trunks!!

What the?!
Hello!!! I' moving to a DIFFERENT city and I only bring 1 trunk! And I can't go back to my hometown every month! Unlike her, she can go back to her home once every two weeks!

Geezz....
That's whyh I never really understand girls!

Count Down: Unknown

I know that I'm supposed to out of this city today.
But it seems like I'm still here. It's not like I'm the one who one it!
The only reason I'm haven't left this city is, I haven't got the ticket yet.

Let me tell you something...
I HATE MY DAD!!!

Call me ungrateful kid if you want, but that's the truth.
I'm having another fight with him again today.
And guess what? He's the one who start it!!!

AAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I WANNA LEFT THIS PLACE A.S.A.P.!!!!!!!

Count Down: 1 Day Left

I haven't got any idea what to write yet.
But I actually having a fight with my father this morning.
And guess what? He's upset because of NOTHING!!!

Gee...
What's wrong with him anyway?
I've been thinking about my friends messages.

I'll talk about it now.

She send me the firs message not long after I left her place yesterday.
I gave her Mr.Squishy, my doll, as a reminder for me.

The text is like this:

ASCH:
Sorry I always forget to say 'thanks' to you for everything you gave me all this time...

..have a nice trip..
..this is a new journey for you..

Cauntion!! Be careful with a stranger!! And don't you dare to delete this message!

ME:
Thanks you sure is the best friend that I ever had.

And I won't delete it.
Dammit! You make me cry!! TTATT

It seems like you're the only one who care about me!

ASCH:
Oh well... I said that cuz I ever felt something like that too. And you'll know it soon maybe :(? I hope that I was wrong.

ME:
I don't know. But i think I'll be okay as long as you keep supporting me!

ASCH:
I will. As long as you won't forget me or ignored me.

ME:
I promise I won't. Even if I lost my memory, I promise I'll remember you.

ASCH:
Okay. I'll keep your promise, lucky boy. (I mean girl!)

ME:
You can call me boy if you want. I'm a half, remember?

ASCH:
R U CRAZY?! Even if U call your self boy, U're still a girl for me!

ME:
I might be a girl, but I'm as tough as a boy!

ASCH:
Okay, I agree with that. U R the toughest person I ever know...

...but being tough also have something fragile...

ME:
You're right. I might look tough, but I'm actually a crybaby.

ASCH:
...don't forget Ur true self...
But still steady huh? Being strong is not bad at all.

ME:
Probably not. Acting strong would only hurt my self.

But acting as a crybaby would actually hurt everyone around me.

ASCH:
But what do you prefer between them?

ME:
Acting strong. Because I'm the only one who'll feel the pain.

ASCH:
Just as I thought..
U will choose that...

U never want to make any more difficulities for them... Even they didn't know who u are? Or there is something?

ME:
I... I don't know. Can we talk about this later? I might have to think about it first.

ASCH:
Okay, I won't force you to answer. I'm sleepy. G'night.

ME:
I promise I'll tell you my anwer after I made up my mind.

G'd nite. Sleep tide.



Then we continue texting today.
This time, I'm the one who start it.

ME:
I've been thinking about your words. I just realize that I'm acting as a strong girl because I don't want to be under estimated by the other.
And... I won't help anyone everytime they got a problem. I would only help them based on my mood. But if the one that I care is in trouble, I would help them no matter how much does it cost.

ASCH:
But U still care huh? U R amazing, I think?

ME:
I dunno. I once taking a character test for KH and TOE.
And here's the result:

(In KH)
You are Riku. You don't care about anyone else as long as youhave the ones that you care. You would do anything to help the one that you care.Even entering the dark side.

(In TOE)
You're Reid. You're lazy and always acting like you don't care. But you won't mind being dragged around by your friend.You love to eat and lazing around all day long. But if your friends are in trouble, you'll stand for them at all cost.

ASCH:
That's why I said that to U, silly!

ME:
Guess so. I mean, I don't even know who I am!

ASCH:
U don't know because you don't want to be someone else nor believing your self...
U don't have to know who you are, just be ur self.

ME:
I want to be me. I want to believe my self...but I don't know how...

ASCH:
It's easy. Why don't you realize it? It's not something hard you know...

ME:
But I still don't know how...

ASCH:
I will tell you when you arrive in Jakarta. After you found the answer, tell me.

ME:
What is the question? How can I find the answer?

ASCH:
Haaahhh... Why U ask me?
This is just 4 u.

ME:
...what is the question then?

ASCH:
I don't know...maybe..."who u r?"

ME:
...that's gonna be tough...

ASCH:
I'm gonna give you a long time. Think about it while you're in Bandung.

ME:
I wonder...would it be enough?


That's the story. And now I'm having a pretty big fight with my parents. And that make me ralize who I am.
So I take my cell phone and text her.

ME:
Now I know who I am. I'm just a worthless kid that can't do anything right.

Count Down : 2 Days Lef

Seems like nothing special happen until now.
Anyway, a really good guy that I knew from TinierMe, give me one of his drawing. And I really love it!

This is his drawing



I don't know whether you like it or not, but for me, that picture is sure is something!
That's the Mad Hatter and Alice and Poring in the Wonderland.

I don't think I can say anything else except a really big thanks to him.



So... Thank you Hunter_Boy!

Count Down : 3 Days Left

Three days left until I have to move to Bandung.
I'm excited yet scared.

And just to make it worse,my baby sister got a fever.
I'm worried about her more than anything else right now.
I hope that she'll be better in no time.


And I also got a good news.
I finally change my cellphone today!
YAAAAYYY!!! XD

Count Down : 4 Days Left

I knew that I never told you guys this... but I'm going to move to another city.
I don't think it's going to make a big difference for my friends, I mean I only got some.

Anyway, I was excited and afraid in the same time. It's not easy to move and live alone in the city that you didn't really knew.

I'm not really good at making friends you know!
One of the best thing that I can do is writing, and I don't think writing could make a big diffrence iwhile making friends...

Being left alone is already become a part of my world.
But leaving the one that I love behind?
Nah... I can't eeven imagine it.

I hate to admit that I'm scared. I mean, everyone think that I'm a tough girl.
Well... I AM a though girl when your talking about fighting!
I might not the best fighter, but I'm not an easy one.
What I really mean is, eventhough I AM a tough fighter, it doesn't mean that I can't cry right??

Finally Found It

Before you start reading this post, please read my previous post
(School = Crap)
Well I think I finally find the school. And guess what?
I'm going to enter it on 18Th July!

Not a Coward

Everytime I see the rain fall from the sky
it always remind me to the past

I remember wasting time
watching as the time fly by

Looking aftere my brother
hoping that I'll pass him one day

Day after day I waste
waiting for the opportunity to be like him

When I finally get the opportunity
I'm excited and scared at the same time

Would I be able to survive?
Am I gonna make it?

Tear start to fall on my cheeks
I started to cry

I cried in silince
I don't want anyone know

Day after day I cried
Lurking in the dark covered in tears

Realizing that I'm not brave enough
I decided that I need a hand

My guardian angel came
Saving me from all this pain

Telling me that I'm not a coward
Building up my confident

And now
The day is finally come

The day where I have to face the decision I made
The day that I'll never regret

New Skin

You might be realize that I'm changing my skin.
Well... I actually prefer my old skin, but we can't leave a comment in there!
So here's come nothing!
I choose this skin cause my friend recomended it to me.
And with another friend help, I rebuild my blog.

Hope you like it!


Catch you later!

Weks!

I never though that I would say this....
BUT WE ACTUALLY CHANGE!

I was looking or some old potrait.
And guess what?!
WE CHANGE!

Not only physically, but also mentally!
Believe it or not, it make me shiver...

Starve to Death

............i'm starving...............
............no strength to write.......

18 June

It's been a while. I know.
I didn't mean to abandon my blog or what, it's just... I got to much things in my mind.

Anyway, today is my 15 birthday.
Believe it or not, I didn't want to get out from my room.
All I want is just spending my time in my room. Nothing else.

But it seems like it's impossible.
My parents decided to take me to the 'Trans Studio' (some sort of amusement park).
It's not like I don't want to have fun or what.
I don't want to go there cause the it's an indoor amusement park!
I mean where is the fun part with playing indoor.

Just to make it short, I GOT NO FUN AT ALL.
My dad force me to take my pictures.
He knew that I hate to be a model for all these photo sesion thingy and he force me!
GREAT!!!

And just to make it worse, when we went to the mall, he asked me to stand beside a car so he can take my picture.
HELL NO!!!
Hey, this IS my birthday!
Do you have to do all of this stuff today?
Don't you guys know how hurt does it feel for me?
Have you guys think about my feeling?

To tell you the truth, I rather stay in home, writing or reading or doing something rather than go out with them!
I rather go out and celebrate my birthday with my friends than with them!
It's not like I didn't appreciate them! It's just... I hate to be dragged around doing stuff that I don't like.
Especially in my birthday. I just don't like it.

You may call me a spoiled brat or crybaby or anything that you want but this is the truth.
Let me tell you the truth. I actually wrote this in my room while crying.
I DIDN'T ENJOY MY BIRTHDAY AT ALL!!!
MY BEST BUDDIES DIDN'T EVEN SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!
MY OLDEST FRIENDS DIDN'T EVEN REMEMBER MY BIRTHDAY AT ALL!!!
And let me make this clear, IT'S HURT TO BE TREATED LIKE THIS.

I don't know what should I write now.
Cause I still can't express the pain that I feel.
But this short poem that I just think might work:



A day unlike any other day
The day when I was born years ago
The day when I want to have fun together
The day that I want to forget

Clock Strike at 12
18 June has come
My birthday is today
Everyone would cheer if this is their birthday
Everyone except me

No smile in my face
Only pain in my heart

Putting a fake smile in my face
With a hope that today will pass in a sec

My heart is full with the pain
Hurting me with all this fake smiles

Looking blankly at the clock
Hoping that it'll strike 12 in no time
Hoping that my birthday would pass
Hoping that this pain would end soon



I know that the poem doesn't sound so good. But for me, that poem might express my feeling now.
Not all of them. But most of them.
I just realize how hurt is it to be forgotten by the none that you loved.
I know that my parents is busy, but that doesn't mean that they can forget how old am I right?
I know that I'm not close to them, but how can they forget their only daughter age!
They only got 2 children! 1 son and 1 daughter!
Is it really hard to remember our age? Is it really hard to remember your children age?

You know what?
I don't care anymore!
I mean my life is already a mess!
I don't care if my parents forget how old am I!
As long as I still have my brother. As long as he remember me, I don't mind at all.
As long as I still have one person left to support me, I'm gonna be okay.
I promise that I'll be okay. Even if my parents don't care about me.


P.S: I want to thank my brother who send me the first happy birthday message. Thanks for remember my birthday.

Stop Telling Me What To Do!!!

I hate my father cause he always told me to do.
One of the reasons why I don't want to study is him.
I mean, I 'm sick of it! Does he have to tell me every sigle thing that I have to do?

It IS my life!
And you can't control it!
FACE IT MAN!

I'm Back!

Hey... I'm already back to my home town.
I know that I'm supposed to be happy...
But it seems like not everything go as the plan.

Well... let's just say that after all this time I'm being left alone with my aunt and my cousins, everything is now getting akward.

Esspecially everithing that have connection with my father.
I just hope that everything would be better soon.

JUST SHUT YOUR FUCKIN' TRAP!!!

CAN'T YOU GUYS JUST SHUT YOUR FUCKIN' TRAP, PLEASE???

I NEED MY TIME!!!

JUST CUT ALL THESE FUCKIN' CRAP!!!

CAN'T YOU GUYS JUST GET YOUR ASS OUT OF THIS ROOM!!!
I actually want to yell like that in front of my cousins and my auntie.
No offense, but can't I just have my own time???

JUST STOP FIGHTING IN FRONT OF ME WILL YA?
I mean, it's just getting worse and worse!
My cousins, the oldest one in this room, start to play an idiot and weird song with his sister guitar.
And just to make it worse, he act as a crybaby!!!
I won't mind if he still a kid, but he's already 13 years old!!!
I just can't stand him you know!!!
I don't know how and I don't know why, my other cousin decided to join him!!!

On the other hand, my aunt is having a fight with my cousin (her daughter), cause she didn't want to eat.
And again and again, they do that in front of my nose!!!

GAH!!! I JUST CAN'T STAND IT!!!
CAN'T YOU GUYS JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?!

I... I don't know.....

It seems like my live has turn up side down...
I don't know how it's happened.
I mean, you know that I'm used to be alone in the crowd right???

But no.... it's become worse.
I mean, I still being alone in the crowd, but now, it feels even worse than before.

I don't know how should I say that...
But it feels like there's a big stone on my chest.
It feels hurt.
It feels even worse than what I ever felt before.

I just don't like it.
I mean, even when I'm alone, I've never felt like this before.

It feels... wrong?
I just don't know!
I felt like I've pushed to choose between the things that I don't like.
And I just don't like it!

It always feel better when I'm with Asch than when I'm with the other.
I just want to go back!!!
Not like I don't want to be in her!
I want to be here!
But I just can't stand being alone anymore!!!

I'm sick of it!!!
I'm sick cause I can't share my problem!!
I just want to meet Asch, my big bro!

I hope I can meet him soon.

THIS IS FUCKIN' TRUTH!!!!!!!!

In case you guys don't know, I actually live in Indonesia.
Well... here's the thing.

My mom, my cousin and I still in Bandung until yesterday, before we got a call from Jakarta, told us that my aunt was in ICU.
As everyone would do if their family is sick, we rash to Jakarta.

We usually take X-Trans (some sort of shuttle service), but I don't know why we take the Cipaganti (another Shuttle service) today.

No offense, but that was the WORST trip that I ever have!!!!
Hey, I didn't mean to be rude, but hey, that's the truth!!!!
Well... we were passed from one shuttle to another for FIVE TIMES!!!!
And guess what, the trip that should only take 2 for 3 ours turns out more than 5 ours!!!!


It's awful or what huh???




MORAL :
NEXT TIME YOU GO TO JAKARTA FROM BANDUNG OR BANDUNG FROM JAKARTA, DO NOT TAKE CIPAGANTI!!!!!

It's Just Boring!!!!

I've been staying in my cousin house for three day, and guess what???
I just doing the same thing again and again and again!!!!

This is actually what happen:
Morning : Wake Up, Break fast, On line
Noon : On Line, Lunch, Nap
Evening : Dinner, On Line, Sleep


ISN'T IT BORING?????!!!!!!!!

It's kinda..... boring???

I know that I might wish too much, but still...
It's feel kinda boring in here.
I know that I can on line as ling as I can.
But being left alone like this is just no fun!!!

I never though I would say this, but I wish school will start soon.

WEEE!!!!!!! And Sorry!!!

Hi guys!!!
Sorry for leaving this blog without any notification.
The truth is, my brother and I were having a trip to Singapore.
And... I JUST LOVE IT!!!
I mean, I got a new toy in there!
And that toy is called.... MRT (Massive Rapid Transport)!

Yeah... Yeah....
I know it's kinda childish...
But Like HELL I WOULD CARE!!!
I mean, I even play in the airport using the trolley!
So, it doesn't really matter how they think about you.
what really matter is, do you feel comfortable with that or not.

Many people told me that I'm childish.
But, that's me.
Even tough I'm a childish, I prefer being a childish.
Why? Because I don't have to pretend as someone else.

For me, lying to the entire world is way much better than lying to your self.
Because if you lie to the world, you will only hurt your own feelings.

ANYWAY.....
I just want you to know that, I actually miss this blog.
I mean, it doesn't matter if anyone read this blog or not.
For me, this blog is a place to express my feeling.
It's just like writing a story, but for me, blog is actually simpler.

Sorry...

Sorry I didn't post anything for a couples day.
The baby was taking almost all the time that I have.
Well, I don't mind at all.

But still I feel sorry since I can't post anything in here.
Don't worry, I'm still gonna post my life in here.
Not so intense, but I will.

YAAAAYYYY!!!!!!

THE BABY IS HERE!!!!!!!!!!
I GOT A SISTER!!!!!!


YEAHHHH!!!!!

It's Not Like...

I'M SCARED!!!!
My aunt will have the Caesar around two o'clock.
And the baby will be here soon.

In one side I want to sit by her side when it's the time.
But in the other side, I'm WAY TO SCARED to be there!

I mean it's not like I'm a coward or what!
It's just I don't want anything happen to them!
Both of them are really precious to me!

My aunt is like my mother, and I think the baby will be like... my sister I guess?
Any way, I just don't know what to do.
All I can do now is praying.


May the God be with them and bless them!

WHAT SHOULD I DO?!!!!

My aunt will give a birth tomorrow.
I know it's a good thing, but I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!!!

I'M SCARED!!!!!
WHAT SHOULD I DO????!!!!!
SMEBODY PLEASE TELL ME!!!!

Please, STOP!!!!

I met a guy, let's just say that he's my other dad in my other life.
I never think that he would be the same boat with me.
Let's just say that both of us were forced to grow up.

It might not a really bad thing, but it gave us way too much pressure!
Sometimes it feels like we are not supposed to be who are.
I mean, is it wrong to be who you are??
Is it wrong to have your life??

I.... It's not... I just... ARGHH!!!

I just can't stand it!!!
I don't want to see the test result!!!
I'm WAY TO SCARED!!!!

It's not like I'm not confidence with my answer!!
What makes me scared is what if my answer sheet got error???

ARGGGHH!!!!
It's been a couple days since I have a real good night sleep!
Thanks to all this test thing, I can hardly get enough sleep!!

Hardly Believe It!

I always though that I'm all alone in my class.
I didn't mean it literary!
I mean, sometimes I feel like no one could understand me just because I'm different!

Anyway, we were all went out to the beach yesterday.
Let's just say it is for the last time we have fun together.

I'm a type of person that just can't stand watching the beach without getting wet.
So, several guys in my class and me decided to start the party and jump right to the beach!
Guess what?
We all get wet XD

Well, the fun is just start!
We decided to drag along the girl and throw them to the water!
We throw them without thinking about anything at all.

I mean what the worst thing will happen?
It's just a sallow water!
They would just run after us trying to have a revenge!


Any way, after doing all the stupid things in the sea, we all got starved to death.
Luckily, the fishes has all ready to be eaten by a pack of starving and wet student!

I still can't believe that I can actually have fun with my classmates.
To all of my classmates and my homeroom teacher, I would like to say thanks to you guys.
That is one of the most greatest day in my life!

Hair Cut!!!

Hahahaha!!!
I don't really know what is actually in my mind!
I just realize that I end up in the bathroom with a scissors in my hand!
(Don't worry, I'm not planning to commit a suicide!)
And after a few minutes with a blank mind....
TAADAAA!!!
I have a new hair cut!
I cut my hair a little bit.

In one side I want my parents to realize it, but in the other side, I rather not!
Why??
Because they would probably KILL ME!!

What's Gotten to ME?!

Today at school, I just dunno what's gotten in to me.
I mean it's not a bad thing!
It's just...
Okay, here's what happened

My teacher call me and my friends who were in the same group with me yesterday.
At first I though he's going to say something important or what!
It turns out that he want us to play another songs in front of the other kids.
Well... I didn't want to do that at first, but my friends just suddenly yes!
Crap, seems like I have to do it again!
But first I have to make my teacher promised that he won't lower our scores if we made a mistake.

And here's come nothing!
We play, they give us applaus.

Hey, not bad!
Let's just say that this is a good experience since I (as long as I remember) never sing in front of the publics.
And guess what?
It's not as bad as I though!

Anyway, my teacher sudddenly ask us to perform in the prom night party.
And my answer is a big NO!
Eventhough I enjoy it, I just can't stand the croud!
Everytime I have to perform something, I was just to nervous and I will forget everything!

Well, until now I just don't get it!
I just don't get why we have to play again at prom!
HELL NO!

DON'T PUSH ME!!!!

Well, just like I've told you before when all those teacher came late, it is reasonable to protest right???
I actually did that!

And guess what?
My teacher is just take it easy and say sorry for coming late.
But my other f**kin' teacher, who's not there at that time (she's actually came way much LATER than the other teacher), just yell at me and I'm not supposed to protest!

WHAT THE F**K!!!!
IT IS OBVIOUS THAT I GIVE THEM A PROTEST RIGHT!
It is just not fair that we can speak our mind!
I mean, I know that they're our teacher and we're their student, but it's just not fair!
Why can they speak out their mind but we can't?
It's kinda unfair you know!

Any way....
I acidentally cry in front of her.
But it's not because I'm sad or what!
It's more like I'm angry!
I just can't hold it much longer!
Everytime I see her face, it feels like she want to screw my entire life.
I can't just simply express it by words!
I mean you should actually see it by your own eyes!

Well...
I guess that does it for today.

My dad will absolutely kill me if I saty longer!
But don't worry!
I'll try my best to stay in touch with my blog.

What the...

Guysss!!!
I just don't get it!!!
They told us to gather in this f**kin' class at 7.30 SHARP.
And now is already 8.35 and they're not here yet!!!
What a SURPRISE!!!

I wish I'm not here right now!!!!

First Phase

2 April, I'm finnaly free from the first round!!
It seems quite obvious that my fight is not over yet.

I think my goverment just didn't want to let us lve peacefully after all!

One Day Left!!!

C'mon!!!
It's almost over!
You can make it!
It just one day left to go!!!

Kill The Goverment!!!!

Argh! I just don't understand the f***kin' goverment!
Did they just want to make our life worse or they just want a revenge?
I mean what's wrong with them?
Did they have to make national examination at the end of March?
Have to do the national examination is not good enough!
Now they want to do it in March?!
Tell me you're kidding!!

ARGGGHHH!!!

Three types of person that I hate the most:
1. The one who broke their promise
2. The one who ruined my books
3. The one who didn't return my belonging after borrowing them

And guess what?
One of them who have all the criteria is here!

ARGH!!!
I really want to kill her!
But it seems like there is nothing that I can do!

Just wait for it you b***h!
I'll have all my book back in no time, or I'll ruined your life instead!

I know it sounds a little bit to sadist...
But they are not just an ordinary books!
One of them is my favorite book.
The other one is a gift from my friends who has moved to another city.
And the last one... IT IS MY BOOK!!!!

GIVE THEM BACK!!!
I WANT MY BOOKS BACK!!!

Who Is Older? Me or My Big Brother?

This afternoon, my brother told me something that I can't even imagine.
He told me that he's sick of his collage.
He also told me that he want to study abroad and learn how to make a MMOG (Massive Multi-Player On-Line Game)

He asked me about my opinion.
He was wondering whether he can get a permission from our parents.
Permision is not a big deal. I bet my parents would let him.
But the problem is, I think my parents don't have the money yet.
And just to make it worse, I don't think my parents would let him to focus on making his dream MMOG.

In one side, I really want him to follow his dream.
Why? Because I always think that we should be who we want to be, not who we have to be.
But in the other hand, it feels like he letting me down.
I just don't know what to do!

Seems like I got stuck in between.
Again.

It's Here! It's Here!

After waiting all week, my package is already arrive!
The DVDs that I've ordered last week is already arrive!
And guess what?!
They are in the perfect condition!
All I can say is

THANK YOU FELOVINA!!!
YOU ARE MY SAVIOR!!

BURN THEM!!!! Then Eat Them n_n

Hahaha.... My school might be sucks, but some of my teachers are cool!
This Saturday one of my english teacher invite me to some sort of BBQ party in her house.

Oh yeah!
Seems like she really know me...
After all, I'm the only one who was invited to her house in my class!
Hahahah....!!!

I can't wait til Saturday!
Miss Nany, You're Rock!!

Cheezy Cheese

Ever heard a phrase "Too much chocolate won't kill you"?
Well... I think that phrase is true, but if someone told you "Too much cheese WILL kill you", I think he is right!

Yesterday, my nanny finally made a macaroni with cheese.
Since it is the first time, it turns out that she put too much cheese in there.
In one hand, it taste pretty good.
But in the other hand, I also want to throw up!

So, I learn something yesterday.
Never put TOO MUCH cheese in your macaroni!

Well... IT IS HURTS!

You know that sometimes when we are running we can't just stop immediately right?
And you know that there are some school that didn't allow their student to run in the hall right?

Well... now I know why they told us not to run in the hall.
The answer is, so you won't hit your teacher if they suddenly come from nowhere!

Let me tell you something, today, I accidentally hit my teacher cause I couldn't stop my run.
And TAADAA!!! I hit him and we both fall!
Great! And just to make it even worse, my friends saw me hit him!
CRAP!!

After a pretty fast apology from me, I run away as soon as possible!
Sorry sir! Didn't mean to hit you!

First School, and then...

When I said that I hate my life, I really mean it.
You can say that I have an awful life at schoool.
No one can understand me at home, and there's one last place for me to run.

And that place is my english course.
But then, something terrible happenned.
My teacher lborrow my book and
TAADAA!!!
It was returned in an awful condition.

The only thing that crossed in my mind is never talked to that teacher ever again!
Call me childish if you want!
Hey, I'm still a kid remember?!
That's why I never like to lend my book to other people except my brother (Sylph), Big bro (Asch) and Sora.

Why?
Because books is really precious to me!
Nothing can replace them, not even game.

I just don't understand why many people in this city don't understand something called "SENSE OF BELONGING"

Just wait, and see....

I somehow starting to want a Agumon doll.
I don't know why (probably because I've been watching the episode all over again), but the point is, I'm going to start my journey to find the Agumon doll.

Just you wait and see...

Why it happens?

Today, all the student in my class came to our classmate home.
We came here to say sorry for his father death.

At that time, I was wondering why it happens.
I mean did everyone have to die and leave everyone who loved him?

It's not fair you know.
Leaving everything behind.

I never like it.

Great! Now my life is getting worse and worse!

After my father read my psychotest result, he got another reason to scold me!
Isn't it GREAT!
YEAH! IT'S FUCKINGLY GREAT!!!

Thank God he gave me something that may brighten my day!
He ask me whether I want to go to a school with dorm or not.
Well, my answer is absolutely YES!

Like hell I would stay in this place much longer!
I really really really want to get out from this house.
Well... wish me luck guys!

I HATE HIM!!!

Worst and worst.
Yup, that's my life.
I'm sick of it and I'm sick of every thing, especially my dad.

I just don't get it!
Can't he just trust me?!

I mean he's just never understand me!
Every thing that I've done is always wrong in his eyes!
And I'm sick of it!!!

If I were Timmy Turner (from Fairly Odd Parents),maybe I might wish that he IS NOT MY FATHER!!!

SCHOOL = CRAP

Its seems like it is pretty impossible for me to have a better life.
Wanna know why?
Because everytime I tough it's going to be better soon, I turns out to be worst!

I hate my life!
Everytime that I do is always wrong in their eyes!
Crap!

I mean, do you think I made a mistake when I told my teacher that she supposed to know the materials before explain them to us?
Do you think I made a mistake when I said to my mom that I hate my school?

I mean my school gave me NOTHING at all!
All they do is asking for more and more money for nothing at all!
I'm telling you, I'M SICK OF IT!!!

One thing for sure.
One day I will build my own school.
A school where the student can learn a useful stuff and not crap like the other school.
A school where all the student can enjoy their study.
A school where the student can be friend with their teacher.
A school where we can all smile.

Did I wish to much?

By the way, I was planning to humiliate my school. Wanna join me?

WHAT SHOULD I DO!

Today is the Chinese New Year and also the Valentine day.
I'm supposed to be happy since today I can get money from the angpao that was given by my father's friends.
Well, I actually happy about that.

The problem is, my mom is not in a really good condition.
Hearing that her cried in pain makes me wanna cry.

I wonder if I could do something to her.
I hate being useless you know.
I hate to admit that I could do nothing to help her.

I wish my brother is here.
I knew that he could help her.
I knew that he is better than me.
I... I have to admit that I'm kinda miss him.

How could it be possible? Don't ask me!

Well... Seems like I finally settled my problem with my brother and his ex.
Everything is back to normal now.

I don't know how its happened.
One thing for sure, I can't stay mad at him!
After all, he is my only brother!

When something worse become worst

Seems like everything is getting worse and worse!
First, my brother betrayed me, then my friends start to annoy me.
And now, just to make it worse, my brother want me to call his ex to say happy birthday!
Can't I just text her!?

Pathetic isn't it?
That's why I hate my life.
He always told me to be good to his ex.
He always treat his ex better than me.

Please!
Did I wish to much?
Let me tell you something, I'M SICK OF HIM!
It's not like I didn't like his ex or what.
It's just... I don't know...
I'm still angry to my brother when he told his ex about my problem.

I didn't like it you know.
There only two people that I want to tell about my problem.
First Asch, and the second is my brother.

When I told him about my problem I didn't hope that he could solve it.
I just want him to give me his stupid suggestion
(Such as: "Why don't you just pisoned his food?" or "JUst kick him right on his face")

See?
Do you think I'm begging him to much?

What the....

Let me tell you something, I sick of my life!
I’m sick of my fuckin’ school and I’m sick of my friends who never understand what is actually happened.
I was considering a suicide, but I don’t think I’m gonna do it.


Why?
Because if I killed my self, it will only prove that I lose with these pressures.
And I am not gonna lose in this game! Like hell I would lose!
Maybe I just feel a little bit down right now, but I don't think I would kill my self.
Not now at least.
After all, if I kill my self, I bet Asch will absolutely kill me first.

It doesn't matter how much does it hurts, Asch will always be there for me

Who am I? I don't know!

Hi,
Call me Naz if you want. I don't really care if you call me with a different name. It won't change anything right? I mean, it is not my name who determine who I am. It is my atitude who determine who I am.

Any way, nice to meet you all. I didn't really know what to say, cause I usually just say, hi, hello, good bye. and my friends told me that it is not a really good way to start your first post in your blog.

So... this is all I've got. I think that's it. I meea, what should I say next? Hmm..... Lets see.... I've already say hello... I've said what I want.... so..... I KNOW!


Good bye! See you again later!