Count Down: 1 Day Left

I haven't got any idea what to write yet.
But I actually having a fight with my father this morning.
And guess what? He's upset because of NOTHING!!!

Gee...
What's wrong with him anyway?
I've been thinking about my friends messages.

I'll talk about it now.

She send me the firs message not long after I left her place yesterday.
I gave her Mr.Squishy, my doll, as a reminder for me.

The text is like this:

ASCH:
Sorry I always forget to say 'thanks' to you for everything you gave me all this time...

..have a nice trip..
..this is a new journey for you..

Cauntion!! Be careful with a stranger!! And don't you dare to delete this message!

ME:
Thanks you sure is the best friend that I ever had.

And I won't delete it.
Dammit! You make me cry!! TTATT

It seems like you're the only one who care about me!

ASCH:
Oh well... I said that cuz I ever felt something like that too. And you'll know it soon maybe :(? I hope that I was wrong.

ME:
I don't know. But i think I'll be okay as long as you keep supporting me!

ASCH:
I will. As long as you won't forget me or ignored me.

ME:
I promise I won't. Even if I lost my memory, I promise I'll remember you.

ASCH:
Okay. I'll keep your promise, lucky boy. (I mean girl!)

ME:
You can call me boy if you want. I'm a half, remember?

ASCH:
R U CRAZY?! Even if U call your self boy, U're still a girl for me!

ME:
I might be a girl, but I'm as tough as a boy!

ASCH:
Okay, I agree with that. U R the toughest person I ever know...

...but being tough also have something fragile...

ME:
You're right. I might look tough, but I'm actually a crybaby.

ASCH:
...don't forget Ur true self...
But still steady huh? Being strong is not bad at all.

ME:
Probably not. Acting strong would only hurt my self.

But acting as a crybaby would actually hurt everyone around me.

ASCH:
But what do you prefer between them?

ME:
Acting strong. Because I'm the only one who'll feel the pain.

ASCH:
Just as I thought..
U will choose that...

U never want to make any more difficulities for them... Even they didn't know who u are? Or there is something?

ME:
I... I don't know. Can we talk about this later? I might have to think about it first.

ASCH:
Okay, I won't force you to answer. I'm sleepy. G'night.

ME:
I promise I'll tell you my anwer after I made up my mind.

G'd nite. Sleep tide.



Then we continue texting today.
This time, I'm the one who start it.

ME:
I've been thinking about your words. I just realize that I'm acting as a strong girl because I don't want to be under estimated by the other.
And... I won't help anyone everytime they got a problem. I would only help them based on my mood. But if the one that I care is in trouble, I would help them no matter how much does it cost.

ASCH:
But U still care huh? U R amazing, I think?

ME:
I dunno. I once taking a character test for KH and TOE.
And here's the result:

(In KH)
You are Riku. You don't care about anyone else as long as youhave the ones that you care. You would do anything to help the one that you care.Even entering the dark side.

(In TOE)
You're Reid. You're lazy and always acting like you don't care. But you won't mind being dragged around by your friend.You love to eat and lazing around all day long. But if your friends are in trouble, you'll stand for them at all cost.

ASCH:
That's why I said that to U, silly!

ME:
Guess so. I mean, I don't even know who I am!

ASCH:
U don't know because you don't want to be someone else nor believing your self...
U don't have to know who you are, just be ur self.

ME:
I want to be me. I want to believe my self...but I don't know how...

ASCH:
It's easy. Why don't you realize it? It's not something hard you know...

ME:
But I still don't know how...

ASCH:
I will tell you when you arrive in Jakarta. After you found the answer, tell me.

ME:
What is the question? How can I find the answer?

ASCH:
Haaahhh... Why U ask me?
This is just 4 u.

ME:
...what is the question then?

ASCH:
I don't know...maybe..."who u r?"

ME:
...that's gonna be tough...

ASCH:
I'm gonna give you a long time. Think about it while you're in Bandung.

ME:
I wonder...would it be enough?


That's the story. And now I'm having a pretty big fight with my parents. And that make me ralize who I am.
So I take my cell phone and text her.

ME:
Now I know who I am. I'm just a worthless kid that can't do anything right.