It Sucks!!!!!!!!!

Well.... I love my new school....
The room that I rent is also pretty good.

Everything is ok.
But... there still something wrong down there.
Deep in my heart.
That feeling is creeping me out.
I'm feeling kinda lonely.
I can handle it if I was in school since the kids and the teacher were nice to me.

But every time I get back to the room that I rent, that feeling is coming back.
I know that I'm the one who choose to live alone.
But still....

Yesterday, I decided to stay in my aunt place.
Call me cry baby if you want, but it still hurt in the inside.
Asch is the one who make me realize the pain.
It might sounds bad to you, but I'm grateful for that.
She's the only one who can truly understand me.
So I thank her for that.

Anyway, I just realize that my brother haven't visit me until now.
I can't blame him, can I?
I know it sounds selfish, but I want to meet him.
He might not understand me like Asch did, but he's the only family member that I can talk to if I have any problem.

Sometimes I wonder whether I make the right decision to move to Bandung.
At first, I actually want to run away.
But then, I realize that running away is not what I want.
What I really want is...
What I actually need is...
Time...

I need sometime to think about this and that.
To think about who I am.
I need to think more for my sake. I need to think more about everything that I've done.
I need to think about freedom and the other stuff.
I need to find my place.

Btw, you might still remember about the post about the text message.
The last message that I send to Asch, I regret it.
I know find the answer.

I'm a kid that was chained, deep down under the lies that I said.
I'm a kid that want to break free.
A kid that looking for the place where she belong