I can't believe I say this but, thank God there isn't much people reading this stupid blog of mine that has been keeping me sane all these time.
Anyway, the reason I said that is becaus I'm going to write something that might sound a bit embarrasing and really not me.
Okay. Let me just go to the point. I cried like a baby and call my best friend/unrelated-by-blood family, Asch... I could hardly believe that I can cry that louder than before. But once I heard her voice, I start crying like crazy. And if anyone from my school heard me cry like that, they'll probably gonna faint because of the shock.
Here's whathappened before.
I was watching the fifth episode of 'Bakuman', then I just realize that I have to contact my friend so he could help me with some illustration for my essay presentation on Saturday. But after few hours of waiting, I start to feel uneasy because he hasn't reply my text. And at that time, I kinda having a nerve break down and start crying because I'm afraid that I won't be able to make the presentation without his help.
That's the reason why I cried at first. But when I called Asch, one thing lead to another thing and somehow I started to laugh like crazy. I don;t now how she do that, but she sure has a way to cheer me up. Oh, and when I was crying, I kinda tolf her that I don't want to let my parents down as much as I don't want them to see me fighting hopelessly like this.
Than she told me that, maybe I'm just trying too hard. My parents already proud of me for being able to enter the final, which means I am not supposed to work my ass off like this.
Those words really hit me in. She knew that I'm a type of person that often to fight over someone happiness and forgetting about my own happiness. And I think she's right.
Sometimes, I'm just trying too hard. Way too hard.
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