Atashi wa Atashi Janai!

Dear stupid blog of mine, I feel more insecure than before. And I don't like it at all. I just wish I could disappear. I know that I'll regret saying it in no time, but that's how I feel right now at this moment. I'm currently sitting in a lobby of some hotel in Sumedang. I'm currently joining the Kids Forum. I know that I should be happy for being able to make new friends and also meeting some old friends. You know, it's kinda hard for me to keep wearing this stupid mask of mine. But when I was thinking to take it off, I realize that I, my self, did not know what lies beyond that mask. I hate to admit it. I hate to admit that I am not me. That I don't know who I really am. You know, maybe it's better for me to not know what lies beyond that mask. Because if I know what lies beyond it, I might ended up regretting my life. Cursing it and hoping that I was not born in to this world. You know, I already realize that I'm desperate. People said that when you understand what happened to you, you'll be able to get a better life. Maybe it's kinda different for me. Although I already realize that I'm desperate, I still don't have a better life. Pathetic is pathetic. Pathetic is my life, at least for now. Signed, _NZmrc_ (Owner of this stupid blog)